Friday, October 1, 2010

One More Day

Me and My Mom

...we all have VHL.   It's there "lurking"...waiting to rear its ugly head, like a monster in the dark. 

You may feel ok, you may not have any symptoms at all...but you know it's there.

I wish I had One More Day with you.

My mother didn't have any least that we knew of.  She never complained of any.  That's how she was...she never complained.

Today: October 1, 2010, I miss my mom.  I wish I had one more day with her.  To tell her all of the things that I should have said, wished I'd said. 

It's been two months...I still can't believe it.  I talk to her every day, I pray to God every night, asking that he blesses her and keeps her safe till I get there.

Mom, I miss you so much!  ...if I only had one more day.

In the photo below, we celebrated my mom's birthday.  We were all there, kids, grand kids and great grand kids.  We didn't know that two days later she'd be gone.

We knew she wasn't well...that something was wrong.  She was forgetting, at least that's what we thought.  She was saying and doing strange things. one point we thought that maybe she'd had a stroke.  So Shana and Robin took her to the hospital the day after her birthday....and all hell broke loose.

In this photo...I see a family trying to celebrate...but also concerned. 

July 31, 2010 ~ Mom's 71st Birthday
As I look at this photo...I see the faces who have been affected by VHL.  My brother, he's the guy on the left with the grey shirt.  Davonte, my grandson, in red. Shana, my daughter, in orange. Me, in black and white and my mother, in lavenderWe all have VHL.  Everyone else lives with either, not knowing whether they have it or worrying about those who do.  We've all spent many hours and days at the doctors office or at the hospital...  VHL sucks!

Me, Mom, Steve and Robin
There aren't many photos of my mother and her children together.  I treasure this one.

Rolly, Tori and Grandma ~ July 31, 2010

My Mom and My Daughter ~ they look so much alike

My mother and Shana were very close.  They shared a very special bond.  Shana looked after her...checking in on her, calling and running errands for her.  They'd be on the phone at all hours...just talking.  My mother worried about Shana and her VHL.  Shana, even when she wasn't feeling well, looked after her grandma.

The night my mother passed away...we were waiting in the waiting room.  The surgery was to take about 5 hours.  Neysi and Tiana went to the car to get a laptop, so Neysi could study. attendent came into the room saying that my mother had coded.  They were resucitating...   Shana ran out of the room, running to find Neysi.  When Neysi and Tiana came out of the elevator, Shana was on her knees, praying and begging God to save her grandma, she prayed so very hard...  That breaks my heart.  As I miss my mother very much...I miss her for my daughter too.  I know how much they meant to each other.

Shana, Tyler, Mom and Neysi

Shana and Neysi went with my mom to the Senior Center for dinner.  My mother loved her grand children very much...her great grand children too.  She loved spending time with them.

Kennedy and Grandma

This picture was taken on my mother's 71st birthday.  It was a special day.  She was surrounded by her children, her grand children and her great grand children.  Kennedy is the youngest.  My mother couldn't speak very well that day.  I don't think her body was cooperating...but you can see she still had hugs.  My mother had the best hugs.

Tyler, Neysi, Tori, Shana and Grandma

I'm glad Fritz and Tori took photos that day.  It makes me so sad to look at them...none of knew that we only had one more day.

If I had known there was only one more day.  I would never have left.  I would have held you so tight.  I would have told you how proud I was to be your daughter.  I would have told you how much you meant to me...and how much I loved and admired you.  Mom, I love you...and miss you so much.

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